apnejokes

My sister and I were wrestling in the house which was a no no. My sister was throwing me around having a good time. She kind of threw me too hard once and I fell through the wall. We were living in a trailor at the time so the walls were VERY thin. We were like OH MY GOD!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!! We couldnt say we were wrestling… that just wouldnt work… he he. So what we did was tell a lie in a way it sounded like the truth. Let me explain….

My dad use to always tell use if we told the truth if we did something bad we wouldnt get in trouble as much so we used that to our advantage. When dad got home, we met him at the door. My sister did the talking… which was probably a good thing… he he. My sister said to my dad. “You know dad how you always told us if we tell the truth you wont be as mad?” My dad reluctantly said, “Yea I remember. What did you all do?” This took the edge off… he he. What was funny was that after saying this, my sister went on to tell a lie to cover up the probem… he he. We already discussed that we were going to tell him I accidently tripped over the cloths basket and fell through the wall. I was going through my clumsy stage so we thought he would buy it. He did… he never questioned it especially since we were telling the “truth” so he wouldnt be mad… he he. My sister and I laugh about that also to this day.

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

The two Japanese men have faxed
Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they’re satisfied because at least the English aren’t getting laid either.

Our news channels have been gone to bad to worse.They don’t have any sense on what subject they should present the newz.They present the newz on any topic they like, they don’t care  whether it has got any relation to mass public or not. Like one newz channel gave a of half hour show on the newz that a actress have bought a new pet for herself.Dude wat the f***. Is this newz got any relation with the mass public????? No ,but according to our esteemed newz editors this have got more inportance than any other topic of the world. Now one more newz channel choose the topic of one found unconsious on the road,afterward it was found that he was sleeping.Now this is the limit. In the race of exclusive newz they also don’t care about the authencity of  the news. honestly if have given the power i will be banned all this useless and headache newz channels and let the people breathe easily.Please stop giving these useless newz and show some authencity ,plz plz be honest and real..thank u..

Its true that sometime u can’t explain everything.Some this kind of incident happen to my friend.I gonna narate his story in my words. I live in a small village with with my wife and two small kids.I own few cattales which include cow,buffola and some goats.One day i went to milk the cow.and start milking it. When the bucket was about to fill he kicked on the bucket and all the milk fell down, so i tied his leg with the rope amd start milking the cow again.This time again when the bucket reaches to its half, the cow again kicks the bucket which result that all the milk fell on the ground. Then i tied his second leg with the rope and agin start milking the cow.This time again when bucket reaches to its half this time he manages to spread the milk on the floor with the help of this tail.Now i have no rope left with me so i have to tie his tail with my belt .As my pant were very loose it fell down as soon as i remove my belt so my fell down.Just then my wife came and saw me in this situation.Let me explain the situation .Both the legs of the cow were tied ,my pants were down and i was tring to tie the tail of the cow. Thats why i told that sometime you can’t explain everything.

Just think what would happen if i become god just for 1 day.Trust me i will my life to fullest.First of all i will and meet the paki president and beat him to my fullest….coz his ignorance can cause a war.Then i will go and catch Mr.Bin Laden uncle and will give him to citizens of usa and same i will do it to Mr, Dawood Ibrahim and he will be served to indians.I know that we believe that slavary is over but it still exist in some part of the world ,i will set all those slave free.Then i will catch the 50 most corrupt people of each country(i will know about them ,as i m GOD) i will plan a holiday trip for them in prison for 10 years in there respective country.Then i will catch again 50 most poorest people of each country and will give them a million each.Then i catch 50 most intelligent people of each country and give them very important job in goverment so they can heil there country to grow. I will a sense to all the people to love humanity and to be honest so that all people can live peacefully and happy as a family and can make this whole world a great country……njoy life(i forget to u tell u that i also add 100 million dollar to my own personal account hehehe)…love u all byee

Hey guys,i m here to share the funny incident of my first day in collage.When i got up i was late for the college.for the first day dad had arranged a car for me and my collage was 78 km away.When i goes to friends place he also late…but ,some how we manage to start on time. But god has hide something ekse for us.Our car broke dowm on the highway and we lost our way also.So till we reach college it was 45 mins late.As it was our first day we didn’t know the class…we hurrily look at the board and sit in the class.After 15 mins when the lecture finishes..th proffessor start taking attendence. But some our name didnt come.WE immediately asked this for the proffesor…he asked our branch then we got to know that it some other class. We ran toward our class but, till then our proffesor has taken the attendane and have gone.In the recess my sandals got broke down and i have to walk whole day bare feets. This is how my first collage was gone.That was the most unusual and intresting day of mine in the college.

When the clock strikes 3
And the lights are dim,
The world won’t see
Her cry for him…
Nor will it hear
For it will sleep
But  in the air,
 moon will creep….
Out from the clouds
 it will frown.
To see her spirits
Sink far so down.
It sits in thoughts
Far up above
To give advice,
Sound words on love.
“You cry for him
For he is gone.
Then don’t you see
He’s not the one?
But over there
I see a man!
Perhaps you will know
His calm hand.
Let me listen …
Yes! He cries!
He cries for you,
Tears in his eyes..
Don’t miss your chance,
It said  and smiled.
“Sleep well, my dear,
With dreams so mild
 this young man
Across the way,
Then go to him
When comes the day.
The girl still cry..
For as you know,
The moon can’t speak
To us below
If  you don’t listen..
She did not.
But in the night  moon
will Never forgot.

hey guys ,every year new year comes and all of us take new year resoluolutions but,do we really care of our resolution???As far as young generation  is concerned the anwer is no . In the beggining of every new year we take pledge that we will do this,we will do not do this …etc.But we dont really take care of of these thing,we just remember them for few days and again start doing the same as we for whole of our life.This is the problem of our young generation we know what we need to do but as usual we don’t care…we just get adjust to the situation and and make our life easy.We don’t push ourself a little more to achive our goals.  If we really think that new year resolution means something to us ,then we should look towards it in a little more caring manner so that we should take care of our resolutions and do the necessary to complete those.I think our reslotions are  not only resolutions they are more than that ,they represent you…so respect yourself…HAPPY NEW YEAR

Man..its said that if u want to life life live it king size but, this defination have been changed.Now its said that if u want to   live life…..live it mallya size. I agree that he is not the richest indian or even in india’s top 10 richest then also the way he live the life ….hats off. His earning is around 6000 crore having around 436 crore ipl team.same amount of f-1 team and a cruize of having cost around 350 crores.Not to forget it kingfisher company. But let talk about his life…he is a man who does everything in style always sorrounded with the hottest chicks of the world…the way he walks ,he wears or he talks everything is style statement…he is truly a trend setter….hats off u sir. 

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.” “My darling,” he replied, “think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”